“Regimen(t)*”

-6mg estradiol, sublingual, 2 tablets in the morning, 1 tablet in the evening
-0.5mg dutasteride, oral, 1 capsule in the morning
-200mg progesterone, rectal, 1 capsule at bedtime
-10,000mcg biotin supplement, oral, 1 capsule in the morning
-300mg wellbutrin 1 tablet by mouth daily
-4,500mL blood (Gwen Gatewood) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Jasmine “Star” Mack) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (KC Johnson) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Tortugita) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Olivia Snow) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Maria Jose Rivera Rivera) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Unique Banks) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Ivory Nicole Smith) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Imanitwitaho Zachee) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Cashay Henderson) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Kayleigh Scott) daily for memory
-4,500mL blood (Siyah Woodland) daily for memory
-368 pounds of congressional letterhead paper, daily, for eyesight
-55 grains gunpowder daily for readiness

This is what I must take to keep living.
This is what it takes.
This is what they take from us.
This is what we take back.

*This poem was first written on April 14, 2023 and contains the
names of trans and nonbinary people who were murdered that
year starting in January. Sadly, the poem continues to write itself
longer and longer. The medicine becomes harder to take.

from What was eaten was given by Wilhelmina “Billie” Sainwood