Does that make sense?
You are young¹ and in Hallmark a lot.
Envelope color is so important. The aisles
go on so long. You worry you have never loved anyone.²
One summer you say this.³ and it is a hoot.
Now that’s just silly. Look at that boy.⁴ Always
some foil and always a chance to choose a better
envelope, but make sure it’s from the same section.⁵
Later you wonder where you’ll hide gifts when you’re old.
You’ll require access to the laundry room cabinet forever.
You hug your father and he smells like the world.⁶
Car ride bingo⁷ asks you to locate a bird and it’s like
sorry, are you being serious right now?

1 I am talking googoo gaga

2 OK maybe not absolute googoo gaga but very small

3 This is before the implementation of Nighttime Worry Hour. You voice such things in the middle of the day! Under fluorescent lights! God!

4 Boy In Store is a primal archetype: Buzz cut, red lips, shirt with licensed IP.*

5 The wedding anniversary envelopes are cuntiest. All pearlized and embossed. They wink at you.

6 A little unknowable, a little scary, but only in a first step on an escalator kind of way. He makes you sandwiches and composts in the backyard. Friendly, sophisticated, mystical, large.**

7 One of those cardboard slabs with little square cutouts. In each cutout is something you’re supposed to find the real version of. When you spy a thing, you drag a piece of transparent red film over the image.***

* Boy In Store can be good or bad. Watch him count change correctly, watch him hold the door. Or he might wipe snot on a card, might destroy Christmas ornaments.

** The sophistication and unknowability persist. The mysticism might have transferred so that’s cool. You split friendly. Scary and large are now unaccounted for.

*** With extremely common sightings like birds, it’s more fun to periodically reset the square. You slide the film back and forth repeatedly. You decide if you have seen the bird.